Give Yourself Grace -- The Biggest Lesson To Carry Into 2022 And Beyond

The LxVE Collective Blog Everything will be alright ExperTease

What's up world!?
Well, the novelty of the new year is starting to rub off and we must face the reality of 2022.
If you're like the vast majority of folks, you probably made a resolution to do something awesome; yet the statistics say that by this time next month you will likely give up. Ouch! =( 

So I pose a question for you...

If failure is inevitable, why do we beat ourselves up when we meet the statistically most-likely outcome?
While I'm not a psychologist and don't intend to diagnose anyone here, I can tell you that behavior is crazy!
But I'm one to talk. I can admit that I'm the first to pummel myself when my execution doesn't match my ambition. 
But here's where I'm proud to apply the biggest lesson I learned in 2021... When I'm nicer to myself, it's easier to hit my goals. Admittedly, I'm a recovering perfectionist so I have a tendency to hold myself to an impossible standard.
But If you stop to think about it, failure is actually quite common in our real life society. 

What makes you think you're the exception?

I know that's rough to hear, but according to stats more of us will fail than will win. Only one team out of 32 will win the Super Bowl. One candidate out of several get the job. You see what I mean?
But don't hear what I'm not saying. All hope is not lost and we aren't all destined to 2nd place or worse.
Much to the contrary, when you accept that most people fail and that you can fail to you are actually empowered to find your pathway to success. 
In the words of hip-hop lyricist, Big K.R.I.T., "The only difference between a winner and a looser is a winner plays until he wins." In other words, avoiding failure isn't what makes a person successful. Rather, it's how you bounce back from your struggles that makes a difference,.

What can you learn from your failures?

Often, our 'losses' tend to be our best teaching tools.
Reflecting on the causes of our miscues and more importantly creating systems to overcome those stumbling blocks can be extremely powerful.
Many times when we face resistance we think that we need to use more willpower to get past the obstacle. While that may work initially, willpower is a limited resource and will eventually fade.
That's where systems come into to play. A S.Y.S.T.E.M. will Save You Stress, Time, Energy and Money. Systems take over when willpower runs out.

Who is going to hold you accountable to do what you say?

In my office, we are adapting the 1800 minute challenge and it's been an interesting experience. In years passed, this kind of public accountability would make me feel anxious and disappointed if I didn't keep my commitment with myself.
While I can be open about how it makes me feel sometimes, public accountability can be a powerful tool. Especially for those in the public eye.
As I learn to give myself grace, I chose to step up to the challenge and join the office group to test how far I've come. (See what I did there?  XD) 
In addition to opening up about joining the challenge, I also have a carefully chosen group of accountability partners who encourage and support me on my journey (you know who you are!) 
Regardless if you are publically sharing your goals and progress or not, I highly recommend finding a crew you can confide in, learn from, and go to when you need support.

How can you adapt and do better moving forward?

So here we are... 15 days into the new year. While I'm not afraid of getting honest feedback, even if it hurts, I encourage us to be gentle with ourselves as we take inventory of progress so far in the new year.
Here are a few questions for reflection to help you take stock of where you are and what, if anything, needs to change:
  1. What is going well for you right now?
  2. What is not going as well as you planned?
  3. What can you change so that the 2nd half of the month is better than the 1st half?
Feel free to add to the list, but these three simple but powerful questions are plenty to help you course correct.
And even If you've gotten off track, it's ok. Just remember: Everything Will Be Alright
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